Do you trust me?
Jesus, I do trust you.
I am scared. I don’t know why this is so hard Father. There is so much good going on where I am right now, why are you calling me to leave? I don’t want to go. I plan to come back and complete my degree but even if I do, things won’t be the same. It is so evident that you are here. I am scared Lord. Scared that I am hearing you wrong, scared that I will never come back, scared that the goodness and growth that I have experienced here alongside this community will all go away and I will never experience it again. I am scared. I like to know what the future holds and right now I can’t see it and that scares me. But I can see you.
Nothing is better than you
Not my friends
Not my family
Not my school
Not my community
Not my security
Lord, you are better than it all. I have tasted and I have seen (Psalm 34:8). You are good and you are God. You are everything good here. I know you will never leave me, you live inside me, you hold my hand and you guide me (Deuteronomy 31:8, Psalm 23:3, 1 Corinthians 6:19). I trust you. The fruit that is here is all because of you. It is fruit of your spirit, of your presence, and so I know wherever I go, there you are. And where you are there is fruit, there is goodness, there is freedom and fullness of love, joy, peace, patience, everything good that is here God is you. (2 Corinthians 3:17-18, Galatians 5:22-23)
I am scared
But I trust you
I feel like you are calling me to step out of the boat. In the midst of the storm and to fix my eyes on you. This is crazy, life is crazy, following you is crazy! Why in the world would I leave the financial stability, the amazing community, the future career and family that I could have here. It is not like there isn’t anything good here, God you are here and I have seen your goodness here. I can see the goodness in a future here if I stay. I don’t know why your telling me to leave, to move in a new direction, to surrender it all and step out if the boat…
(Matthew 14:27-31)
But I’ll go
I know you and I trust that whatever you have in store is so much better for me and you and those who have not yet met you. I trust you and I will fix my eyes on you and choose to follow you wherever you lead me, it is the least I can do after all you have done for me. And quite honestly, it is all I can do. (Hebrews 12:1-2, 1 Corinthians 2:9)
I will fix my eyes on you
Thank you for being with me and never leaving me. And thank you for using me as a vessel to pour more of your love out onto those who need it most. Please continue to fill the places of fear in my heart with more of you. You have never given me any reason to not trust you.
Jesus, I do trust you.
Love,
Ronny
Scripture:
* Proverbs 9:6
Leave your simple ways and you will live; walk in the way of insight (NIV)
* 2 Samuel 9:7
“Don’t be afraid,” David said to him, “for I will surely show you kindness for the sake of you father Johnathan. I will restore to you the land that belonged to your grandfather Saul, and you will always eat at my table.” (NIV)
* Matthew 14:27-31
But Jesus spoke to them at once. “Don’t be afraid,” he’s aid. “Take courage. I am here!” Then Peter called to him, “Lord, if it is really you, tell me to come to you, walking on the water.” “Yes, come,” Jesus said. So Peter went over the side of the boat and walked on the water toward Jesus. But when he saw the strong wind and the waves, he was terrified and began to sink. “Save me, Lord!” He shouted. Jesus immediately reached out and grabbed him. “You have so little faith,” Jesus said. “Why did you doubt me?” (NIV)
* Psalm 34:8
Tase and see that the Lord is good. Oh, the joys of those who are refuge in him! (NLT)
* Deuteronomy 31:8
The Lord himself goes before you and will be with you; he will never leave you nor forsake you. Do not be afraid; do not be discouraged.” (NIV)
* Psalm 23:3
He renews my strength. He guides me along right paths, bringing honor to his name. (NLT)
* 1 Corinthians 6:19
Do you not know that your bodies are temples of the Holy Spirit, who is in you, whom you have received from God? You are not your own; (NIV)
* 2 Corinthians 3:17-18
Now the Lord is the Spirit, and where the Spirit of the Lord is, there is freedom. Ad we all, who with unveiled faces contemplate the Lord’s glory, are being transformed into his image with ever-increasing glory, which comes from the Lord, who is the Spirit” (NIV)
* Galatians 5:22-23
But the fruit of the Spirit is love, joy, peace, patience, forbearance, kindness, goodness, faithfulness, gentleness and self- control. Against such things there is no law. (NIV)
- Hebrews 12:1-2
Therefore, since we are surrounded by such a great cloud of witnesses, let us throw off everything that hinders and the sin that so easily entangles. And let us run with perseverance the race marked out for us, fixing our eyes on Jesus, the pioneer and perfecto of our faith. For the joy set before him, he endured the cross, scorning its shame, and sat down at the right hand of the throne of God.
- 1 Corinthians 2:9
However, as it is written: “What no eye has seen, what no ear has heard, and what no mind has conceived”— the things God has prepared for those who love him — (NIV)
- Matthew 26:32
But after I have risen, I will go ahead of you into Galilee,” (NIV)
- Mark 5:36
Overhearing what they said, Jesus told him, “Don’t be afraid; just believe.” (NIV)
